Keeping the blog

Every time I think about deep-sixing Presbyfruit, I get mesmerized by the shiny baubles of Typepad's capabilities.  I don't know why I feel I need a web presence that costs $4.95 a month and that causes me some stress.  I went to Typepad this afternoon determined to cancel and get rid of this blog and there were so many cool new features---well, I'm still here. And doing another blog post.

I self-censor too much to get the emotional benefits that a hardcore, no-holds-barred private journal would provide.  I bore myself sometimes with thinking about what to write.  I really have no purpose, or focus.  And did I say I bore myself?  

Oh, well.  

What's happening with me:  I finished my first semester in court reporting, where I earned my very first 4.0.  Yeah, it's a community college and I already have my bachelor's degree and 36 hours toward a master's.  Still, I haven't been in school for 20-some years and I was full of anxiety most of the semester.  I had to meditate in my car before EVERY SINGLE class.  Plus, I  protein-loaded on class days for optimum intellectual performance.  In other words, I took it real serious [sic].  Unlike most of my very young classmates.  There is a definite generational gap going on.  But that's for another post.

I also was determined to have the best damn Christmas ever.  We erected a tree for the first time in nine years, played Christmas music non-stop, carefully planned the time we would spend with family.  Kari made a standing rib roast and Yorkshire pudding on Christmas day.  I ushered at the late Christmas Eve service.  While I don't subscribe to much of what we Presbyterians are supposed to subscribe to, I do believe most whole-heartedly in the Light.  That's what it's all about for me:  the Light in the darkness, the Light that heals, the Light that saves, the Light that transforms. 

I had a wonderful sense of that light this year, and I'm still holding on to it for dear life.  My natural (and probably chemical) depression is a daily threat to that light, but I'm still trying.  

You won't see me take the tree down---or turn off the music---for another week.  Or longer.

Comments

[Wordsmyth8]

I didn't realize you had to pay for this space. Well, I for one, am glad you kept it. But I know what you mean about not being able to be brutally honest. I have a blog on Blogspot that I have told no one about, for that very reason. But because I know no one reads it, I'm not real motivated to write regularly. Guess it's a Catch 22.

Oh, I'm very impressed with the standing rib roast and Yorkshire pudding! My first girlfriend's mom was British and so she used to make Yorkshire pudding sometimes. It's the bomb!

Congrats on school. I have a spring semester creative writing class that I'm stressing about already. It's good to know I have other friends who are also coping with school. Maybe we can support each other.

As for everything else, just keep on keepin' on. You're doing fine. :-)

[presbyfruit]

The only thing about Yorkshire pudding that grosses me out is the fact that meat "drippings" are used in its creation. That's just nasty, if you're not a huge meat eater.

I'm one to talk, but don't stress out until the semester actually starts. :) Although creative writing would definitely stress me out. But you're talented and I'm sure can out-write any of those young chippies in your class.

Thanks for the support. I tell myself every day, "just get on with it."

[Shazza]

Yay! Glad to see your blog is still alive and kicking!

Congrats on your 4.0 and I'm glad you both had a great Christmas!

Happy New Year - I look forward to reading your posts again (especially quotes from your Mom!)

[The Village Carpenter]

You said "erected." heh

I want to read a blog post blasting your classmates' work ethics.

[8thday]

Last night Shazza recommended your blog to me, so I hope you don't leave just when I've arrived.

[presbyfruit]

Thanks, Shazza! You should friend my mom on Facebook so you can see how she confuses "wall post" with "email."

VC: what work ethic?

8thday: Shazza recommended your blog to me, and I've been lurking there. Can I link you?

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