And negative crazy talkers don't help much.
This is how I define "crazy talker": someone you've only just met who rambles on and on in a disjointed fashion, using way too many details, including the first names of people you've never heard of, and who fails to see the look of dawning horror in your eyes that says, "Oh, shit. I've got to get away from this person or I might scream. Out loud."
I meet a lot of these people. Perhaps I'm giving off a "I'm-a-good-listener" vibe. I am, indeed, a good listener and I like people and I like to talk to people one-on-one.
But I've recently decided that negativity, especially in my currently vulnerable (read: unemployed) state is bad for my health and my emotional well-being.
I'm trying not to read the comments on the online edition of our local newspaper, which are almost as bad as Youtube comments. Which are very, very bad.
For awhile, I avoided my beloved Rachel Maddow's show; during the health care debates, the toxicity of the discourse really got to me. I've since gone back. I can't stay away from Rachel.
Mostly, I'm trying to monitor any and all negative sentiment that I may feel, or say.
And it's hard. Really hard. The meditation and obsessive exercise is helping a lot. Having a super-duper emotionally supportive spouse helps a lot. Connecting online with friends and family helps a lot.
But it's still a daily struggle.
And running into a crazy talker at my beloved Tai Chi class is not a good thing for me. I'll have to figure out a way to avoid her without appearing to avoid her.
As facile as it sounds, my mantra has to be: "only happy thoughts."
Now, if I can just stop blogging negativity...