I've done very little with or for my church in the last year or so. I thought I would find my mojo again, once I rested a little and recovered from the cyclical burnout endemic to church-lady-hood.
I'm not there yet.
I no longer feel burned out. And I've slowly started to re-engage: I indicated an interest in serving communion on a regular basis; my Nominating Committee duties are calling me back (this afternoon, in fact; I'm currently, right this very moment, putting off making what I consider to be difficult calls asking for folks to come back on Session, Deacons and Trustees' Boards); the Shema Circle meditation retreat is in a couple of weeks; I spent a few hours this morning, along with tons of volunteers, cleaning the church.
I'm re-entering, ever so tentatively. But it's only in body.
I'm not really sure what my problem is. I'm in a calmer place about the anti-gay language in the Book of Order that went un-changed last year. It doesn't seem as important in light of the events in my professional and personal life the last few months.
Spiritually-speaking, I'm in a good place; I meditate every day and frequently experience that much-sought-after sacred connection and connectedness.
But the church thing---I'm just not sure what's going on.
And I guess I won't figure it out this afternoon.
I've got to make those calls.